As I was walking into a building, I tried to be nice and opened the door to let a woman behind me go first. Before I knew it, a group of guys just quickly and carelessly walked out through the door I was holding open for the woman. It was a glass door so they must have seen I was trying to let the woman go first.
I wasn’t sure which shocked me more - the fact that they didn’t wait for the woman or that they expected me to hold the door for them without even a “thank you”! As I stood there simply dumbfounded with what happened, I began to ask the age-old question: do nice guys finish last?
I decided to finally answer this question once and for all. This can only be achieved by applying a scientifically rigorous approach. My method was to think of a few questions that would test my theory, arrive at the answers using my gut instincts, and then use Google to see if anyone else agrees.
Note: the question, “Do nice gals finish last?” also applies!
Do Nice Guys Finish Last REGARDING LOVE?
This was a big question, so I had to make sure I had very good proof to support my claim, and I may have found the most authoritative source there is. A wikiHow article described seventeen steps (yes, seventeen!) to ask for a date. You can’t get more detailed than that. Although the article does recommend being nice, a much more emphasis was put on being persistent in order to succeed. If you believe the article, you would deduce that if a woman who was being asked out by two people, one being nice and the other being persistent, the person who gets the date would be the persistent one.
Answer: When it comes to finding love, nice guys finish last.
Now, what happens after love is found? Happily ever after does not happen by itself. The relationship has to be fresh, alive, anew. According to an Art of Manliness article, you gotta feed the flame. The article continues by recommending to give attention to the partner through actions such as being courteous, giving gifts, and having date nights. Clearly, being nice is important in keeping the romance alive.
Answer: When it comes to keeping love, nice guys finish first.
Do Nice Guys Finish Last REGARDING FRIENDS?
This question is easy. If you’re not a nice person, why would anyone want to be around you? You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Answer: When it comes to casual friends and acquaintances, nice guys finish first.
There is an exception to the answer. When you need to ask for honest advice, do you go to your casual friends or acquaintances? No, you go to your best buddy, your confidant, your partner in crime. Why? Because that’s the only way to get an honest answer, whether you like the answer or not. If your best friend told you any different, that person has lost credibility with you. Trust is more important than being nice when it comes to your best friends.
Answer: When it comes to best friends and confidants, nice guys finish last.
Do Nice Guys Finish Last REGARDING WORK?
This looks like it should be a no-brainer. When you’re working in a team environment, a good attitude is contagious. Being polite, professional, and courteous helps with team chemistry.
Answer: When working with other employees, nice guys finish first.
Things are a little different when it comes to sales. When was the last time you said “no” only once to a salesperson? I’m sure there’s a nice salesperson out there that takes the first “no” for an answer, but there’s not that many. Why? Because they wouldn’t last long in their job. I had a telemarketing job once that paid on commission. I learned real quick to be persistent or else I’d be working for free.
Answer: When it comes to making money and sales, nice guys finish last.
Do Nice Guys Finish Last IN A CONFRONTATION?
It takes quite a level head to be able to maintain composure and still be nice when faced with a confrontational situation. It’s so impressive, it’s actually disarming. I usually find that after the other person vents for a little bit without any push back, that person would typically decompresses and then start to engage in a reasonable exchange.
Answer: When it comes to confrontations, nice guys finish first.
What if the other person doesn’t decompress? What if the other person is stubbornly looking to escalate the situation some more? What if it gets physical? It’s still not too late. If you’re able to still be mindful of your safety, there’s still a chance you can decompress the situation. However, there is a point where you may not be able to mind your own safety against a belligerent person, and if it comes to the point where you need to physically defend yourself, just remember the one rule about street brawls: there are no rules. That’s why the confrontation should be decompressed at all costs.
Answer: When it comes to surviving a fight, nice guys finish last.
Nice guys are in danger of finishing last when they confuse kindness with weakness. As long as they keep that in mind, nice guys can indeed finish first.