The Critical Success
Be careful of what you wish for, because it might come true.
It’s a trite saying, but there’s some truth here. Trying to achieve a goal can be enough of a problem, but what if you actually succeed? Will success change you for the better or for worse? What will the cost be to maintain success? These can be problems, but at least they are within your control.
When you succeed, some people may be genuinely happy for your achievements, but there may be others who, for whatever reason, will be critical of your accomplishments. What can you do when you encounter these kinds of people?
Criticism Comes with the Territory
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard
It can be quite deflating when you share your achievements and someone diminishes the value of your success, or even claim it to be a bad thing by saying that it has negative value. When your success gets more exposure, the critics seem to come out from the woodworks.
Some people are critical because an easy way to look smart is to point out flaws, which unfortunately comes at the expense of people who actually get things done. Sometimes it can be jealousy or insecurity that makes people critical of other people’s success - since they cannot achieve the success themselves, they feel the need to cut down others who are achieving success. Whatever the reason may be, expect the critics to point out your flaws as you achieve your success.
Know The Inner Truth
The only sure way of avoiding criticism is to avoid doing anything. If that’s not acceptable, then another approach is to ignore criticisms altogether. This option may be rather tempting, and for the most part it can be the best approach when encountering criticism from those who only want to see us fail. Naturally it’s difficult to hear criticism about something that you devoted yourself to.
However, feedback can be important in helping us to improve and make things better. The only way to identify criticism that can be constructive is to have a good sense of the “inner truth” and recognize which feedback is aligned with this truth. Use the constructive feedback to help refine and grow, but learn to discard the rest.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You’ll be criticized anyway.
- Eleanor RooseveltA successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.
- David Brinkley
Just as it is important to be balanced with a deep-rooted foundation of the inner truth before you listen to criticism, it is also important to maintain this balance afterwards as well. While you are examining the areas where you can improve and what you did wrong, don’t forget the things that you did right as well. Also, it’s important to realize that it’s only natural to take feedback personal, since the feedback is on something that’s directly associated with you. Whether or not the feedback was meant to be a personal attack, know how to handle such situations in order to progress from it rather than regress from it.
Managing Criticism
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There are many reasons why people can be critical. They could be trying to be sincerely constructive and provide an honest feedback. Or they could be spiteful and are envious of your achievement, insecure with their own abilities to achieve, or they are simply posturing by trying to make themselves look smart at your expense. Either way, know that criticism is a part of successful achievements and that ultimately we have the control over how the criticisms affect us.
yazgunu
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Hi Al, welcome back!
Great post, I experienced it, criticism because I blog =)
Scott H. Young has a great message on this, regarding the hate emails you will receive, and he said that it’s not always because of jealousy or bad intention.
Here is quoted from his article
“I feel the real culprit behind a lack of support is that they don’t have access to your vision…. If everyone could share your vision it wouldn’t be yours.”
Thanks for reminding me again!
Btw, I have ever asked you about what you are doing, do you mind sharing?
Wish you success too,
Robert
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.—Doug
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
You heard me twice, the first time.
Hi Robert - thanks for the constructive feedback (the good kind that I talked about
)
Great quote also from Scott H Young - it’s very positive and quite true. I kinda see the point I was making about using criticism for self improvement as being consistent with his original point about not having access to the vision - in other words, the criticism I receive can reveal to me that I didn’t express my vision effectively.
Thanks also for welcoming me back to the blogosphere! I had to step away for an unexpected work emergency that derailed my schedule for the past couple of weeks. I’m now slowly getting back to my old schedule again. Still catching up on some of the other blogs, including yours
My rule for giving criticism is only give it if it will help and only focus on one topic otherwise your message gets lost and resentment kicks in.
Doug - thank you for the feedback(s)
Agreed about criticism. It’s easy to give it, but that doesn’t mean we should give it.
Summy,
That’s a great rule. It ensures that the criticism is indeed constructive and that it gives the person a chance to improve and grow. Otherwise the natural reaction would be a defensive one and the chance for improvement is lost.
Ah Al, you’ve touched on a topic that’s very close to every blogger’s heart. About a few months ago, I receive quite a number of nasty comments on an list post I’ve written. It went really popular but also garnered quite a number of down votes on SU - the most I’ve ever got ever. I started wondering what have I done to have incurred the wrath of a few SUers.
After my analysis, I realized that the lists I’ve compiled is one that’s pretty subjective. Everyone will have their different preferences (and visions like what Robert drew from Scott’s article) and when they criticise, they’re just expressing their interpretation of the subject and it may not necessary means an attack on my character. When I finally came to terms with that and letting it go, in came a few more positive SU votes!
Whatever it is, take it positively and even criticism can be a great learning experience.
Cheers,
Ellesse
Hi Ellesse,
I’m impressed that you were able to make sense of that situation. Sounds like even though you had overall a great response, there were a few that weren’t so great. I know that my natural tendencies would be to focus on only the negative responses, so I can imagine how difficult it was to understand and to come to terms with the different point of views. Kudos!
I’m in total agreement with you - even criticism can indeed be a great learning experience.
-Al
It’s only human, Al! I too felt really lousy when I received those nasty comments and kind of focused on them for quite a while.
But on hindsight, I believe things also happened for a reason. Those negative responses eventually made me appreciate the positive ones even more. Well, when good things come in a furry, you tend to take them for granted!
Cheers,
Ellesse
[…] the best thing to do is to stay close until they give you the opening. If you get criticism, read The Critical Success on how to deal with it. Realize it’s not always about […]