Why Bad Things Happen to Good People
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Sometimes asking the right questions is as important as being brutally honest with the answers. They tell us that if you pray to God that you will eventually get what you pray for. Others tell us that there is some unseen flow called karma that ensures doing good will cause good to return, and that bad will lead to bad. It’s very easy to want to believe such things.
However, some have questioned how a God could allow tragic events to happen to good people. Personally, I know of enough bad things happening to good people to question this thing called karma. If the rules of the game are not fair, then why would you want to stick to the rules? I’ve been struggling with this question for years, and now I think I’ve seen enough to take on an honest attempt to answer this question.
Life’s Not Fair
At one time I was an extreme optimist, but Life has battered me down enough times to temper this optimism down a bit. I try to balance being an optimist with being a realist, but sometimes I find myself being quite pessimistic. The more that I live and see what Life can do to people and what it already has done, sometimes I question the notion of God, of karma, or simply question the goodness in people.
For example, I heard about a story of this one girl from a poor family that had an alcoholic and abusive father. The mother died when this girl was eight, and two years later the father abandoned the two children. Shortly after the two kids were sent to a foster home, her brother passed away. And on top of all that, earlier at the age of three, the girl was having vision problems which eventually became worse in spite of multiple surgeries trying to save her sight. Her vision became so bad that they had to send her to the school for the blind. What kind of God would let this happen to an innocent girl?
What about that story of the black eight year-old girl, also from a poor family, who was molested and raped by her mother’s boyfriend, which psychologically traumatized the girl and became mute? Turns out that years later when she was 17, she became a single mother and had to work as a shake dancer to make ends meet. What kind of karma could she have gotten as a little girl to deserve all this?
Consequences When Bad Things Happen
I have seen many people who were once good individuals, but the unfairness of life has jaded them and influenced them to be the kind of people that they are now. I do sincerely believe that we all have some inherent good in us, but sometimes it’s difficult to keep that good in us when bad things happen. Sometimes there are events that happen to us that we don’t deserve and can’t control, but we can control how we respond to them.
The orphan girl that was becoming blind did not lose her vision completely, and she eventually became the valedictorian of her class. Anne Sullivan became a tutor and mentor for the blind, and her life experiences helped her to connect to this one particularly difficult blind, deaf, and mute student named Helen Keller.
The mute girl that became a single mother is not a mute anymore and eventually moved on into theater, music, and poetry. Her words have been credited to heal and inspire many generations of people. She has been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Award. She has been on two presidential committees and even read one of her own poems for a presidential inauguration. Maya Angelou touched many people’s lives, including mine.
Why do bad things happen to good people? Because it helps them to see how to make this world a better place. Because that’s what separates the truly good people from those who only think they are good people. Bad things happen to good people because it is a necessary part of making a good person great.
yazgunu
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kathyfb@riverside wrongful death attorney
Cool post, I wasn’t sure where you was going with it a 1st so I’m glad I read it til the end!
I feel that “sh*t happens” to everyone and there is always a gift in it for you to do something amazing with it.
I’m at a stage now where I try to maximise the gifts and as a fellow blogger, I find some solace in the fact I can share my dark times with my readers so they can get something from it too.
In love, light and abundance x x x
Lola
Excellent post Al!
Shakespeare said it best, “For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” We interpret all the events that take place in our lives. We determine what we are going to do with them.
Always let your light shine so that when people take a look at you they can get a glimmer of good in the world.
Cheers,
Nneka
Lola - thanks for the feedback. Thank you also for sticking with the story until the end!
It is an edgier article than normal from me, but it was something I feel real passionate about and kinda poured my heart onto the keyboard. I would have felt real bad if I knew someone only read the first half of the article and not read the final part.
Hi Nneka - thank you for the comment, especially since it was reading your blog that made these thoughts in my head click for a post on this site.
I totally agree with your point about how we are the ones that determine how events will affect our lives. Thank you for inspiring me.
Great post! Wanna share a poem about gratitude in the valley experience.
Thank you for valleys, Lord.
For this one thing I know,
The mountain tops are glorious,
But it’s in the valleys I grow!
It’s glorious to be in the tip-top condition, but let’s learn to grow in every condition we’re in, valley experience is important for us to grow, as you said, to be great!
Great post!
Robert
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Hi Robert -
That’s a very nice poem. I notice how it thanks and appreciate having the valleys. That is a great approach - instead of being angry or having self-pity, one can spin it and actually appreciate how one can grow from the experience. Thanks for sharing!
Hello Al: I enjoyed your article, and like Lola, was a little tempted to bale out early on. I’m glad I didn’t. Maya Angelou has a lovely readable style of writing.
I suggest that optimism is the opposite of pessismism. However realism is a completely different dimension. One can be an optimist and a realist. I can accept a difficult challenge in my life (realism) whilst maintaining the hope that I can persevere despite what has happened (optimism). It follows that one can also be a pessimist and a realist.
To me, optimism and pessimism are about the meaning/interpretation that one attaches to life events.
Hi Galba - thanks so much for bearing with this article til the end… I would have felt terrible if you only read the first part!
Being an optimist and a realist at the same time… that is an interesting spin. After thinking about it, I believe you’re right… an optimist can also be a realist as well. An optimist that isn’t realistic is delusional (which I’m unfortunately guilty of more often than not), but an optimist that’s a realist would be the ideal combination.
Nice observation, Galba!
If anyone has ever heard of Michael Meade, he does a great mytho-poetic lecture on this topic.
The idea he puts forth is based on the interconnectivity between one’s wounds and their strengths. True heroes in stories, he points out, always begin wounded and discover their strengths through their wounds.
Furthermore he adds credit to this argument pointing out the etymology of the word: Blessing which is derived from a word which means ‘blood’ which refers to the process of making something sacred. (the difference between sacrifice and suffering is sacrifice has a meaning/purpose.)
The french word ‘Blessure’ (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/blessure) also stems from this word concept, it is the french word for ‘wound.’
Meade further backs up his argument with quotations from Joseph Campbell’s philosophy on ‘following one’s bliss’ where he points out Campbell’s urgency that you must “enter the forest at its darkest point for you.”
Another way to put this is that “where you fall, you’ll find your gold.” Both men did considerable research on how the unconscious mind exists ONLY in stories. To navigate reality we must use stories to understand what it going on around us. Adding the concept of the collective unconscious branches explanations of how we unconsciously can live out a myth metaphorically just as a hero does.
I find this work interesting (can you tell) but remarkably helpful for speaking with youth and getting them to share their ways of dealing with it, as you don’t start by scorching them with tough questions, you get them to open up by listening to their own stories, movies and theme music.
Hi Rich,
Your comments is chock full of excellent points. I recognize your reference to Joseph Campbell (since I am a Star Wars fan), but did not know about Michael Meade nor about “mythopoeic” until I read your comments. I’m also impressed with Meade’s community service work with Mosaic Voices, which you touch upon at the end of your comment. I had to do a search on Michael Meade to find out more info about him.
These theories can help explain how people can grow after going through tough times. However, they don’t have to be used only for analysis from a third-party observer. It can also be used as a device in one’s emotional toolbox - by evoking the hero archetype, one can draw strength and inspiration to persevere through tough times. I believe this was a point you were also making as well.
From Wikipedia, I found a very nice Michael Meade quote:
When generativity, creativity, generosity, and the capacity to embrace life dry up, the Water of Life has gone underground. At such times, the earth becomes arid, life becomes devoid of meaning, the ground of culture cracks and splits, and gaps develop among peoples and between people and nature. Only water can bring the pieces back together, awaken seeds hidden in the ground, and enliven the parched Tree of Life.
- -from Men and the Water of Life.
Thank you for sharing Rich!
-Al
Hello Al:
Rich’s point and your follow up are very interesting. Stories have the capacity to engage. While I’m not a psychologist, I’m sure that the subconscious plays an important role. Stories encourage the reader to make their own meaning and complete the picture. They have an important role in emotional intelligence. I wrote this article.
http://tuneupyoureq.com/2007/07/06/whats-your-emotional-intelligence-story/
It’s based on a story that my Mum told me. She heard it from her grandmother, same story, probably the same moral, different usage in different generations.
Hi Galba -
I agree with your point about the subconscious (or unconscious) playing an important roles with how stories affect us. Also, thanks for sharing your story as well. I really liked the line, “How To LOSE Friends And Influence People” - it’s a very memorable line.
Thanks Galba!
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This is an absolutely excellent post– I really appreciated the stories of Maya Angelou and of Hellen Keller.
When reading this post I was often reminded of the story of Albert Einstein and his early education. Basically, for anyone who hasn’t read it or heard about it, he was told many a time by his teachers that he would never amount to much of anything, also he was told that his behavior disrupted the flow of the classroom.
It was after being told to leave the classroom one day the young Einstein was riding his bike and imagining what it would be like to be riding on a beam of light.
This story has been influential in my life for a many of reasons, the first being that it makes the point that good things can come out of people that are questioning things, also as an outdoor enthusiast it amazes me how even the most complicated theories can be thought of by a simple walk in the woods or by riding a good trail.
Thanks for the excellent read–
Blake
Hi Blake,
I appreciate the feedback. That’s a pretty cool story of Einstein.
He’s a classic case of showing the benefits of questioning things - even the things which we considered to be accepted facts, such as the laws of physics (that he singlehandedly proved to be wrong).
I didn’t know about the beam of light story. It makes daydreamers like me believe what we do can’t be all bad. Thanks for sharing!
I may be moving away a bit from the rest but all of you have a good outlook to this problem.
If you are religious, I have tried to tie it in with what Jesus said to His disciples. “If they persecute Me they will persecute you also.” If you are saved you in a manner become a disciple and come under this situation. Good people -saved people “Believers” will many times be mistreated because they are God’s children and hated consciously or unconsciously by the unsaved and evil thus causing bad things to happen to them. Even satan can cause disease with God’s permission. See Job. Please comment if you will . Thanks
Hi Ken,
Thanks for the comment… I appreciate the honesty and being forthright, because religion can be a sensitive subject.
I was a bit edgy with my post, but I was also intentionally being ambiguous whether God (or some other power beyond) was directly responsible for these kinds of events. Whether or not evil powers causes bad things to happen to good people, I do believe at some level that bad people also causes bad things to happen as well.
The important point is that we can respond with integrity when we encounter such things. And when we do, we will ultimately become better off in the end. I believe this would be consistent with what Jesus would teach us as well.
Thanks for your reply. I agree-some are bad to the bone. Just like a job-problems aren’t the work but the people. I like this blog. It’s what I’ve been looking for.
KL
Hi Ken - thanks for adding to the discussion and for the feedback. I’m honored with your comment! Hope to see you here more often
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Hi Al,
This post is certainly food for thought. After much study on the Law of Attraction, I’m convinced that we do attract or draw into our lives what we concentrate. I’ve seen countless examples.
One, in particular stands out in my mind. I knew a woman who was always germ cautious. She constantly worried and warned others about certain behaviors that she considered unsanitary. She was constantly aware of and vocal about doing everything possible to avoid germs
During the two years I was closely associated with her, she had the flu twice and three colds bad enough to cause her to miss work. During the same period, I had no colds, flu or any other sickness.
While my motto and “modus operandi” is to keep your mind on what you want and off what you don’t want, it’s hard to explain why disease, mistreatment, accidents, etc. happen to small children.
Looking back through my life, I find that everything that’s happened to me was either because my mind was focusing on it or it was a necessary experience for my growth.
The mistake most make in judging the Law of Attraction is in not considering that the negative is also attracted. If you concentrate on germs making you sick, you get sick. If you concentrate on not having enough money you get more of what you’re concentrating on - lack of money.
We’ve grown up in such a negative society that even those who consider themselves to be positive seldom are, at least at the subconscious level.
Duane
Duane Ford’s last blog post: Do You Meditate? A Meditation How-To.
I really like your post. The only thing that bugs me though is the whole part about God. He will never give us anything that we can’t handle. Whenever he is giving us something very difficult to deal with it is to prepare us for something he has for us (which will definitely be worth it).
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You got cool posts here. I agree with Jessie when she wrote” The only thing that bugs me though is the whole part about God. He will never give us anything that we can’t handle. Whenever he is giving us something very difficult to deal with it is to prepare us for something he has for us”
So far I’ve read two of which i had them printed out for discussion on radio. Keep it up and i will definitely be back with a Big Bang
Everyone has a choice in life. We bring God into our lives by worshipping Him and putting Him first. We see many times in the Bible that the Lord “refines” us through trials as shown in the story of Job and many others. It’s safe to say that everyone has had their moments where they were on their knees asking why but hey, where the darkness is great, the sunshine is just around the corner. If we keep God first and foremost…I’m pretty sure, we’ll all find our way.
Very nice post. Sometimes when the bad things happen people blame God and become dissapointed with their life. I learn to believe that no matter how is my life goes, God has beautiful plan for me.
What an encouragement, I suppose if Maya Angelou had not gone through all that she went through this article wouldn’t have been written. From the scriptures point of view; All things work together for good to them that love God and to them that are called according to his purpose. All things - include bad and good things that come upon a person that is righteous before God.
I for one noticed that the end of a truly righteous person is good. some of the answer to “why” can be because God want such a one to become wise and have experience which will be helpful in later life. Also, the answer can be that God want to show to humanity that He alone is to the answer/ solution, sufficient for all our problems - hence we should learn put our confidence in Him and no one else.
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Yes, sometimes bad things happen to people who seem undeserving of them. But God allows things to happen for His reasons, whether or not we understand them. Above all, however, we must remember that God is good, just, loving, and merciful. Often things happen to us that we simply cannot understand. However, instead of doubting God’s goodness, our reaction should be to trust Him.
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