The Stigma of Self Help
Why is there a stigma with “self-help?”
How did a positive phrase end up with negative implications? Is it because it’s an admission of weakness? Or is it because it’s grouped with pseudo-science, in the sense that it’s subjective and cannot be proven? Or perhaps, it’s because it’s associated with those self-help gurus on late-nite infomercials that’s giving you the hard sell with their patented self-help systems, with a sales pitch similar to other get-rich-quick systems being sold on other infomercials?
However, I don’t feel the same way when I hear “personal development” or “productivity systems.” I have a theory about why.
I’m trying to figure this out because I created a list of productivity and personal development systems that I intend to learn about (also, thanks to those who gave me feedback, because my list has grown since the original post). In the process, I had to differentiate between productivity (such as Getting Things Done), personal development (like Law of Attraction), and self-help (an example given later).
My opinion is that productivity systems are simply sets of rules and don’t ask for significant adjustments to your values. Productivity systems is more of an external change, while personal development is fundamentally an internal change, and the external improvements in your life is a byproduct of the internal improvements. In my opinion, self-help is personal development to the extreme.
The Original Self-Help System
Perhaps one of the original self-help system was the 12-step program by Alcoholics Anonymous. Started by a doctor and a businessman in the 1930’s, they helped develop the 12-step program during a time when society considered alcoholism as a weakness in morality and virtue. The 12-step program was so effective that it’s been adopted by other self-help systems such as Narcotics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous. In fact, I came across a book on stock market trading (Trading for a Living by Dr. Alexander Elder) that recommended the reader to adopt the A.A.’s 12-step program and switch “alcohol” with “stock market loss.”
The common thread to productivity systems, personal development, and self-help seems to be the willingness of the person to acknowledge an area of weakness and to follow a course of action to fix it. Seems that the differences is with how deep the changes will be with the prescribed course of action.
Back to the stigma… I think one main reason why self-help has the stigma is because people group productivity systems, personal development, and self help under this one umbrella term. Using something like the 12-step program to help clear the clutter off your desk is like trying to swat a fly with a sledgehammer, so people will be naturally turned off if they hear about a new productivity or personal development system.
Of course, the self-help infomercials don’t help either. A persuasive salesperson with a product that promises a lot of value that is hard to prove is a recipe for a scam. That’s why I feel compelled to give this quote yet again:
Believe nothing,
no matter where you read it,
or who said it -
no matter if I have said it -
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
-Buddha
Hello Al:
I’m interested in where in your framework you would place transformational programmes.
Hi Galba,
Based on my observations I see three categories: productivity, personal development, and self-help. There’s no clear division between these three though; it’s more of a blending from one end of the spectrum to the other. To me, transformational programs is a prime area in personal development since the changes are internal rather than external (such as GTD).
The best book for me regarding personal development is the 7 Habits by Covey. I am eager to learn more programs in personal development, but right now I’m getting familiar with GTD because I think it’ll give “more bang for the bucks” with my needs right now.
As I recall, Benjamin Franklin was one of the first people to advocate personal development. Wasn’t it in his autobiography that he talked about the character traits he was working on?
It’s too bad some of the loudest people in self-help come across as scam artists.
Thanks for the comment you left at Cheerful Monk. It touched my heart, and I’m still thinking of it. Bless you.
Hi Jean - it is unfortunate about the loudest people in self-help coming across as scam artists. There’s potential for so much good, but this area is also an easy mark for manipulative people as well.
Thanks for the feedback about my comment on your site. I take no credit though, since I was only reciting someone else’s story. It looks like you have a great thread going on as well.
Thank you for your insights Al. I’ve also found that various people see self help in different ways. Those who are more inclined to create meaningful change will seek out the people who can help them get there. Those who are not quite there will look at the quick fixes or get turned off.
The great thing is that everyone has the potential to take a look at themselves and create whatever they want in their lives and there are many caring and ethical practitioners to help them get there.
Wow.. I just dunno. I thought self help was a positive connotation about someone ‘in secret’ taking action to help and improve themselves. I didn’t feel a negative implication in the term ’self help’. Self improvement? Personal development? Dare I say basically the same thing? Help, improvement, development.. towards ‘what?’ To me, meditation alone in serenity is the ultimate form of ’self help’, although most things are decidedly ’social’ in origin rather than ’self.’ We learn from others, do things to impact others…..etc. GD.
paylaşım için çok teşekkürler. mükemmel bir paylaşım olmuş
My own self help happens while in meditation. I get the answers to my questions and it’s pure joy!
This is a very interesting blog site. I have found a lot of great information and opinions here. Thank you!
When I was younger I used to flinch at the thought of reading self help or personal development books. But now I read these books like a newspaper.lol I love to discover things about myself and how I can improve better. This site is awesome!
[…] This article provides some insights about the stigma of self-help. I personally think this stigma is derived from negative judgment, usually about our selves. For example, if we’re reading self-help books it means we need help, which means there’s something wrong with us, which means we’re not perfect or are “less than” we should be. Reading such books also acknowledges our flaws and exposes our lack of perfection. This may also trigger a fear of being judged as flawed not only by ourselves for reading the book, but by others who might see us reading the book and judge us the same we we judge ourselves. […]